


Save Me (I'm in too Deep)

by Celticheavens



Category: VIXX
Genre: Implied/Referenced Suicide, Ken's POV, M/M, Poetry, Unhealthy Relationships, potentially disturbing imagery, the non-suicide NSFW part is so hidden under layers it's barely visible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-04-17
Packaged: 2018-10-19 23:19:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10650162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celticheavens/pseuds/Celticheavens
Summary: A short poem detailing the unhealthy relationship between Hakyeon and Jaehwan.Written for a relationship+genre generator prompt.





	Save Me (I'm in too Deep)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt generated: HaKen; Death Fic
> 
> Disclaimer: This piece is a work of fiction and nothing more. The characters depicted in this story are in no way realistic representations of their actual counterparts, and should be taken as literary inspirations of the latter and nothing more. No form of defamation or malice are intended. This piece is not intended to romanticise the act of suicide/unhealthy relationships. If you find yourself struggling with either, please seek professional help as soon as possible.

A bouquet  
of broken sounds  
set down by stuttering hands;  
Vibrant colours bleeding  
into the desolate ground—

Like the breath from your cherry lips  
poisoned by the liquour you (he) had forced down;  
Like the sweet wetness of your swollen tongue  
as they sought solace in the bitter reality of mine;  
Like the veins that threaded the tired whites of your eyes  
holding you prisoner to a desperate fantasy;  
Like the splintered paths that mapped your golden skin  
fading into tattooed memories that defied the formation of ours—

I caught you in my arms (when you fell from his)  
Fractured;  
I filled your cracks  
with whispers of empty promises,  
(because I was haunted by the moans that whistled through them)  
and I opened my mouth to capture  
Your essence  
before swallowing it  
Whole  
just so I could claim to own a part of you  
when the daylight shattered our illusion  
and the mirrored shards reflected only me—

You claimed that  
I was the only one who could light up the darkness  
that was expanding in your chest,  
Stop it from unfurling its limbs against  
your fragile ribs  
and pushing against them like  
an overfilled balloon  
whose limit was stretched too thin,  
—Let me save you—  
You smiled  
and crushed your mouth against mine;  
All I heard was the  
painful howling in your blood, and the  
anguish in your muscles as we  
fell onto the floor,  
So I inhaled  
until I could feel each hollow of your bones  
rub my flesh raw,  
the aching pressure (pleasure) as you squeezed  
My heart  
with a possessiveness that sent me drowning  
in a wave of asphyxiating loneliness  
that made me realise that perhaps  
I was the one who needed saving instead—

I heard your voice  
–too soft, as if trapped in the echoes of my mind–  
(because a living nightmare wasn’t enough a punishment)  
calling out to me over the static of your cheap land line,  
each syllable the caress of a siren’s call  
enticing like a moth to a flame  
(when will I learn that words that tender, cut like knife?);  
There you stood with your limbs folded,  
–a discarded origami  
Forsaken  
for the fragility of its beauty–  
so I tried to gather your chafed ends  
smoothen the creases of your skin  
and the tears in your wings, but you  
Slapped my hand away  
I don’t deserve you  
(You aren’t him)  
but my fingers were already tangled in the  
Threads of fate,  
that connected our lives in a  
twisted mess of knots, held precariously by  
fraying strings;  
Set me free  
–your fingers snaked around my throat–  
Let me breathe  
–they bit into my pulse–  
You smiled  
but all I saw was the grind of your teeth  
against the rust of your mouth, so I  
Let go  
Watching as you fluttered from the  
Heart of my palms  
unraveling in your inevitable descent  
until the only sounds left in the room were mine  
and what could’ve been—

It hurts  
(Thank you)  
I still love you  
(I’m sorry.)

**Author's Note:**

> Original notes from 2015: This was originally meant to be a quick half an hour exercise in total, but after I got HaKen as a pairing (one I secretly adore) = belated strike of inspiration that revitalised my weary bones with a zeal I haven't felt in a month. Strangely enough, the motivation didn't come in the form of a prose, but rather a collection of loose/pseudo-poetic verses. (Which worked, because it is _technically_ a sentence.) On hindsight, this unorthodox route was probably fueled by my admiration for an amazing poetry-esque FFXV piece written by daemon_angelus (I'm pretty sure it's Adamas, which you can find on her DW). 
> 
> I haven't written a proper poem in years (I don't even recall when was the last time I'd written one), so I do apologise for the lack of structure, and awkward breaks! I tend to prefer prose since my long-windedness doesn't lend well to the brevity of this writing form (at least not without making it overly disjointed and abrupt as with what you'd just read). That said, I'm just pleased I finished an entire poem!
> 
> (This piece allowed me to 1) allow myself the reprieve of written poetry in lieu of fics for my fanfics, and not feel like I'm somehow just masquerading as an author; 2) break past my fear of writing slightly NSFW stuff by using dual imagery with not-very-clever use of words, which has since become the preferred way I tend to write such scenes now. Although unpolished, I'm still proud I managed to get this out despite lack of practice, and it just spiraled into me finding that poetic voice I thought I'd lost. Thank you for reading!)
> 
> (Originally posted to my tumblr: dancingunderdarkstars, and my AFF: devils_solitude)


End file.
